If your star-child likes to “rock & roll all night, and party every day”, than congrats…..you are the proud parent of a KISS Kid. As one of the greatest rock bands of all time, KISS has miraculously managed to stay relevant since the 1970’s, and last month were finally inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. With their flamboyant comic book inspired personas, elaborate stage shows and classic rock songs, KISS will no doubt continue to be loved and admired for generations to come. This includes fashion fans everywhere, as KISS embarks on yet another new venture as the face of John Varvatos’ Spring/Summer 2014 campaign. – Jill Topol
- Hello Kitty – KISS Pop! Vinyl Figures $11.95 Each www.hsn.com
- Super Goody Bag’s own “Starchild” Max at 2 years old for Halloween (costume custom-made by Jill Topol)
- Sourpuss – KISS Skulls Kids Tee (size 6m – 5yrs) $22.00 www.sourpussclothing.com
- Archie – Archie Meets KISS Onesie (size 6-24m) $17.95 www.store.ticketmaster.com
- Oeuf – KISS Hat (size 12m-4yrs) $48-56.00 www.oeufnyc.com
- Be Lucky Kids – Panda Pullover (size 2-10yrs) 25,00 Euros www.beluckykids.com
- Sourpuss – Kids KISS Socks Set (size infant & toddler) $10.00 www.sourpussclothing.com
- Rockabyebaby – KISS Lullaby Baby CD $15.90 www.littlerockstore.com
- H&M – KISS Long Sleeved T-Shirt (size 1 ½-10yrs) $14.95 www.hm.com
- Rowdy Sprout – KISS Long Sleeve Tee (size 3m-12yrs) $38.00 www.rowdysprout.com
- Little Rock Store – Kids Glam Bears KISS T-Shirt in Yellow (size 2-5yrs) $17.90 www.littlerockstore.com
For the past 2 years or so (age 5-7), I’ve been jotting down every funny and bizarre comment that comes out of my son Max’s mouth. I call them “my little gems”. And what makes these “little gems” so priceless is that they’re not said with the intent to be funny; they just naturally are. I’ll continue to be his own personal stenographer until he becomes a boring adult just like the rest of us. – Jill Topol
1. “Obama is the boss of America, and you’re the boss of me, right?”
2. “I love you more than diarrhea.”
3. “Mommy, when you tell me not to do stuff it hurts my brain a little bit.”
4. Max – “I’m really good at helping baby animals.”
Me – “What do you mean?”
Max – “Like if a cheetah was chasing a baby bird, I’d give the baby bird a knife so he could defend himself.”
5. Tomorrow is Max’s 5th birthday. I told him he needs to be polite and say “thank you” for all the gifts he receives, even if he doesn’t like something. His response to me was “You mean like a suppository?”
6. “You can rub soap on your penis, but you can’t rub a dog on your penis.”
7. “Grandma doesn’t make pancakes, but she has a delicious recipe for hotdogs.”
8. “You cracked my heart.”
9. Max – “Yay, the winter Olympics are starting!”
Me – “What sport are you excited to watch?”
Max – “Bowling.”
10. “Women grow boobs and men grow beards.”
11. “Mommy, when you and Daddy were little were there trees?”
12. “What do you like better, technology or cookies? I’m having a hard time choosing.”
13. “Some kids in my class did something very inappropriate today. They twirked. But don’t worry, I think the principal saw them do it on the security cameras.”
14. “Some doctors say if you eat candy when you have rabies it makes you better.”
15. “Smiling is a sign of laughing.”
16. “Shut your pothole is a much better choice then saying shut up.”
17. I was watching TV with Max and this elaborate commercial with fireworks comes on for KY Jelly. Max turns to me dead serious and says “Mommy, would you like me to buy some KY for you as a present?” I told him, “That’s ok, you already got me a lovely Christmas gift, but thank you.”
18. “What if everyone was all made of sugar?”
19. “What if everyone in the world farted at the same time?”
20. “There’s no pee in peanuts, right?”
21. “The Catwoman Lego is way cooler than the Wonder Woman Lego because she’s wearing mascara.”
22. Max is playing with his Catwoman doll. He rolls his R making her say “Purrrr-fect”. I try to say it, but can’t roll my R’s to save my life. His response was “Mommy, you can only roll your R’s if you’re hispanic or a cat. You’re just Jewish”.
23. “My 2 favorite animals are cats and unicorns.”
24. “Mommy, you have a vagina and it’s hairy. No seriously, it has hair.”
25. “What would happen if someone fell asleep on the potty while they were pooping?”
26. Max – “I can’t believe Daddy’s last name is so short?”
Me – What do you mean? It’s the same as yours?
Max – “No Mommy, Daddy’s last name is Jr.”
27. “Can you put Tic Tacs in my lunch box?”
28. “Can I have a ring pop for breakfast?”
29. “Tell Grandma I’m not hungry for food, but will eat ice cream.”
30. We’re on the train heading out to visit my mom. Max breathes into his hand and smells it. I ask him what he’s doing? He says “ I want to make sure I have fresh breath for Grandma.”
31. “I think I’m going to marry my friend Lily. She’s funny. She’s smart, and she’s easy to lift.”
32. “I need somebody to kiss, cause I’m already puckered up.”
33. Max’s cousin Violet asked to marry him. His response was “I can’t marry you because I’m already marrying my best friend Lana, but if we move to Utah I can marry you both. You can marry as many people as you want there.”
34. This past Sunday I took Max to the carnival. He won a stuffed poodle at a darts game. When I asked what his poodle’s name was he replied, “Her name is Diamond. You know, like Madonna. She only goes by one name.”
Yes, this is my own boy Max! I made him this KISS costume (complete with Killer Teddy Bear boots) for Halloween back when he was 2 years old. A true labor of love and worth every minute!
2. Bjork in her Swan Dress
3. Alice in Wonderland
5. Colonel Sanders and a Bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken
And we close the 15 Best DIY Halloween Costumes Your Mom Never Made For You with another one of my son Max. Here he is at the ripe old age of 1 as Gomez Addams with his best friend Thing. Is it wrong I got pleasure from drawing a moustache on my baby? – Jill Topol
I would like to start off by saying that I am not a prude! I think if you’ve got a great set of legs, short shorts are hot. Stiletto heels are sexy, and strawberry lip gloss makes for a more enjoyable kiss. But even with having an appreciation for makeup, I never quite understood why some doll manufacturers have decided to take their makeup inspiration from Tammy Faye Baker? When I was a kid my idea of makeup consisted of a Dr. Pepper flavored lip balm and glitter nail polish. Now it’s not uncommon to see a 13 year old looking like she was just abducted by the Avon lady.
While I love the idea of little girls playing dress up and messing with their mom’s makeup, I think it’s important that we don’t rush them through childhood. Don’t get me wrong. Makeup is a godsend. The thought of leaving my apartment without a little concealer and lip gloss would leave me feeling naked (and a bit haggard). It’s sad to think that a little girl might feel the same as me because they want to look like their doll.
I recently had the pleasure of speaking with researcher and artist Nickolay Lamm, who took photos of Barbies, Princesses and Bratz dolls and digitally removed their makeup. The end results were more youthful looking fresh faces, similar to the children who play with them.
Now that we know Barbie is still beautiful after washing her face, it’s time to move onto the next important doll topic that’s on all our minds. Why the ginormous boobs? – Jill Topol
Super Goody Bag: What was your inspiration for this project?
Nickolay Lamm: I came across a viral “before and after” photo of Barbie where they over exaggerated the whole portrayal of Barbie without makeup. She looked horrible. I thought I could do a better, more realistic job.
Super Goody Bag: Why do you think toy companies have always felt the need to over exaggerate the features on dolls? From Barbie’s 10-inch waist topped off with double D breasts and heavy makeup?
Nickolay Lamm: It’s kind of the same idea as skinny models in advertisements. Beautiful people tend to sell products better. However I feel there’s a movement where we’re now more aware of this unrealism and are much more willing to buy dolls that actually resemble real people.
Super Goody Bag: Do you think manufacturers will take note and ease up on the makeup after seeing your images?
Nickolay Lamm: Hmmm… I don’t know? But I’m sure someone at Mattel probably saw my images, and hopefully I planted a seed in their mind that clean fresh-faced dolls are still pretty and marketable. I think a lot of parents would buy a doll without makeup if it actually existed.
Super Goody Bag: I actually like some of your “after” images better, but I’m not namin’ names. Hello toy companies! I love you all! lol The dolls look beautiful. The only thing missing are the teenage zits, but I think maybe that’s where we should draw the line on realistic dolls, unless of course Proactiv and Clearasil want to come out with their own line of “welcome to puberty” dolls.
Nickolay Lamm: Oh, I like that! lol
Super Goody Bag: Do you think Ken and GI Joe would approve of these new makeup free dolls, or miss their overly done-up girlfriends?
Nickolay Lamm: I don’t see why not? I myself am no Ken or GI Joe in real life, but I don’t care if a woman wears makeup or not. They’re all beautiful.
Super Goody Bag: Did you play with dolls as a kid?
Nickolay Lamm: I played with something similar to GI Joe growing up, but I think girls tend to be more affected by dolls with makeup than boys. There’s much more social pressure on little girls with how they look. It’s socially acceptable for little boys to be messy and not care about their appearance.
Super Goody Bag: What’s your next project from here?
Nickolay Lamm: A 3-D model of Barbie side by side to a real woman doing comparisons on all their body measurements. The front page of Yahoo picked up the story a few days ago.
Super Goody Bag: Who would win in a fight, Barbie or a Bratz doll?
Nickolay Lamm: Oh the Bratz doll would win. Her head is so big that she would knockout Barbie with one headbutt!
Today we sadly mourn the tragic loss of the children and teachers killed in the senseless shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. When I first turned on the television and heard the news, my brain had trouble processing what I was seeing and hearing. How could somebody carry out such a heinous act? It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t seem real. My heart aches thinking of the families who have lost a child today. It’s every parent’s worst nightmare come true. I’m sorry if I sound like a pessimist, but life is not always fair. Not everything happens for a reason. There is no bright side to this. This is a horror show being played out right before our eyes. When it’s easier to purchase a gun than get your hands on a Doc McStuffins doll for your kid’s Christmas gift, it puts things into perspective. Gun laws need to change! To live in fear that any psycho can get their hands on a gun and shoot you down at the movies or in the classroom is unacceptable.
Tonight poor Max had to suffer through being smothered by me with endless hugs and kisses to the point where he asked me to stop. I found myself staring at him over and over again thinking what if? What if that had been my son’s kindergarten class? While the thought is too unbearable to imagine, I can’t help but feel vulnerable. I am an over protective mother by nature and would give my own life in exchange for my child, but I am helpless to protect my baby from predators who have an agenda. I hate that this is our reality.
My heart and prayers go out to all the families who have suffered a loss today. To everyone else with a child, hug them extra tight and be thankful. – Jill Topol
If your child is prone to waving a Bic lighter in the air every time you turn on the radio, then your baby was born to rock. If your child prefers the feel of tight zebra spandex leggings over Osh Kosh overalls, then your baby was born to rock. And if you believe that Bret Michaels might be the biological father of your oldest daughter, then your baby was………you get the picture.
This season, give the finger to those prissy ruffle dresses and stiff polo shirts in exchange for mod checks, suspenders and vintage concert tees. It’s time to take a walk on the wild side with rock inspired fashions. With aspirations of becoming the next mini Bowie, Jagger or Blondie, these punk influenced styles aim to please. – Jill Topol
1. Knuckleheads Checkered Fedora $28.00 www.gromville.com
2. Junk Food Blondie vintage kids black tee $34.00 www.junkfoodclothing.com
3. Mini Rodini Zebra print leggings (on sale) $26.60 www.babybubblenyc.com
4. Stardust Glam Rock Dress “Lego David Bowie” £22.00 www.stardustkids.co.uk
5. Ash Kids Fox grey leather high top trainers (on sale) $166.56 www.ishoessale.com
6. Sourpuss Kids pink studded belt (on sale) $6.00 www.sourpussclothing.com
7. Harajuku Mini for Target Infant Boys graphic skull w/ suspenders onesie $18.00 www.target.com
8. Monster Republic Lightning Bolt “Bowie Cat” tee (sale) $29.99 www.chasing-fireflies.com
9. Junk Food KISS “Sharkbite” girls limited-edition tee $34.00 www.junkfoodclothing.com
10. Rowdy Sprout Blondie Loungewear set $46.00 (size 3 months-8 years) www.rowdysprout.com
11. Harajuku Mini for Target Black & white checkered skirt w/ suspenders $19.99 www.target.com
12. Harajuku Mini for Target Girls’ Safety Pin hair barrettes $7.99 www.target.com
13. Munster Kids “Ear to Ear” Baseball top (yellow smiling monster w/ fangs) $48.00 www.westvillagekids.com
14. Vintage Rock Pins Assorted vintage rock pins available on Ebay (prices vary) www.ebay.com
15. Sourpuss Sex Pistols “Pretty Vacant” onesie (size 3-18 months) www.sourpussclothing.com
16. Morgan & Milo Boys LTT Bolt slip-on sneaker (on sale) $32.99 www.morganandmilo.com
17. Pumpkin Patch Denim Biker jacket (size 5-11 years) (on sale) $24.99 www.pumpkinpatchusa.com
18. Rowdy Sprout Devo boys baseball tee $38.00 www.rowdysprout.com
The official anthem for dressing like a rockstar.
David Bowie – “Fashion”
Fashion. Turn to the left!
Fashion. Turn to the right!
We are the goon squad and we’re coming to town.