Striped Tank – Uniqlo, Striped Swim Trunks – Zara Kids
Threadless – Burgerman T-Shirt (size 3 months – kids large) $15-$20.00 www.threadless.com
Stella McCartney Kids – Arlo “Meat Free Monday” T-Shirt (size 2-14yrs) $80.00 www.stellamccartney.com
For the past 2 years or so (age 5-7), I’ve been jotting down every funny and bizarre comment that comes out of my son Max’s mouth. I call them “my little gems”. And what makes these “little gems” so priceless is that they’re not said with the intent to be funny; they just naturally are. I’ll continue to be his own personal stenographer until he becomes a boring adult just like the rest of us. – Jill Topol
1. “Obama is the boss of America, and you’re the boss of me, right?”
2. “I love you more than diarrhea.”
3. “Mommy, when you tell me not to do stuff it hurts my brain a little bit.”
4. Max – “I’m really good at helping baby animals.”
Me – “What do you mean?”
Max – “Like if a cheetah was chasing a baby bird, I’d give the baby bird a knife so he could defend himself.”
5. Tomorrow is Max’s 5th birthday. I told him he needs to be polite and say “thank you” for all the gifts he receives, even if he doesn’t like something. His response to me was “You mean like a suppository?”
6. “You can rub soap on your penis, but you can’t rub a dog on your penis.”
7. “Grandma doesn’t make pancakes, but she has a delicious recipe for hotdogs.”
8. “You cracked my heart.”
9. Max – “Yay, the winter Olympics are starting!”
Me – “What sport are you excited to watch?”
Max – “Bowling.”
10. “Women grow boobs and men grow beards.”
11. “Mommy, when you and Daddy were little were there trees?”
12. “What do you like better, technology or cookies? I’m having a hard time choosing.”
13. “Some kids in my class did something very inappropriate today. They twirked. But don’t worry, I think the principal saw them do it on the security cameras.”
14. “Some doctors say if you eat candy when you have rabies it makes you better.”
15. “Smiling is a sign of laughing.”
16. “Shut your pothole is a much better choice then saying shut up.”
17. I was watching TV with Max and this elaborate commercial with fireworks comes on for KY Jelly. Max turns to me dead serious and says “Mommy, would you like me to buy some KY for you as a present?” I told him, “That’s ok, you already got me a lovely Christmas gift, but thank you.”
18. “What if everyone was all made of sugar?”
19. “What if everyone in the world farted at the same time?”
20. “There’s no pee in peanuts, right?”
21. “The Catwoman Lego is way cooler than the Wonder Woman Lego because she’s wearing mascara.”
22. Max is playing with his Catwoman doll. He rolls his R making her say “Purrrr-fect”. I try to say it, but can’t roll my R’s to save my life. His response was “Mommy, you can only roll your R’s if you’re hispanic or a cat. You’re just Jewish”.
23. “My 2 favorite animals are cats and unicorns.”
24. “Mommy, you have a vagina and it’s hairy. No seriously, it has hair.”
25. “What would happen if someone fell asleep on the potty while they were pooping?”
26. Max – “I can’t believe Daddy’s last name is so short?”
Me – What do you mean? It’s the same as yours?
Max – “No Mommy, Daddy’s last name is Jr.”
27. “Can you put Tic Tacs in my lunch box?”
28. “Can I have a ring pop for breakfast?”
29. “Tell Grandma I’m not hungry for food, but will eat ice cream.”
30. We’re on the train heading out to visit my mom. Max breathes into his hand and smells it. I ask him what he’s doing? He says “ I want to make sure I have fresh breath for Grandma.”
31. “I think I’m going to marry my friend Lily. She’s funny. She’s smart, and she’s easy to lift.”
32. “I need somebody to kiss, cause I’m already puckered up.”
33. Max’s cousin Violet asked to marry him. His response was “I can’t marry you because I’m already marrying my best friend Lana, but if we move to Utah I can marry you both. You can marry as many people as you want there.”
34. This past Sunday I took Max to the carnival. He won a stuffed poodle at a darts game. When I asked what his poodle’s name was he replied, “Her name is Diamond. You know, like Madonna. She only goes by one name.”
My kid still has days where he can’t remember his left from his right. To help him out in the past, I’ve labeled the inside of his sneakers and even resorted to drawing a big L and R on his hands with magic markers. A perfect solution until bath time.
It’s time to take advantage of this frigid winter and finally put to rest the age old question “Mommy, which hand does this go on?”.
Let’s make some left & right gloves! Not only is this a super easy craft, but the end results are “right on”. – Jill Topol
1. A pair of acrylic gloves or mittens
2. Iron-on letters (.75 – 1 inch size) I used glitter, but flocked letters would work well too.
3. An iron
Cut out your letters spelling out “left & right”. Lay out your letters on the gloves. Apply heat with an iron until set. Make sure to check the instructions for iron-on application. This can vary depending on brand and material.
Tiny Whales – Donut Worry Be Happy, Natural Hi Lo Tee (size 6m-8yrs) $25.00 www.tinywhalestore.com
Since our latest “T-Shirt of the Week” is a Keith Haring tee, I thought it was only fitting to repost this tribute I wrote 2 years ago dedicated to one of my all-time favorite artists. xo, Jilly
Back in my high school days, I was a funky new wave chick with a mad passion for art, music and fashion. To paint a clearer picture, I would have been the perfect casting choice for “the best friend” of Molly Ringwald & Duckie in the movie “Pretty in Pink”.
I remember wearing my Keith Haring pins on my denim jacket, and a limited edition Keith Haring Swatch Watch that I got as a birthday present from my grandma. I literally wore that watch everyday until it fell apart. Pop art always had a special place in my heart. The bright colors and whimsical attitude just seemed to fit in perfectly with my lifestyle. Andy Warhol was the master and Roy Lichtenstein was a genius, but growing up in the 80’s nobody could come close to Keith Haring. He was the Andy Warhol of my generation.
Throughout his career, Haring devoted much of his time to public works of art including hundreds of white chalk drawings in subway stations and painted murals throughout New York City. He also collaborated on numerous projects with the likes of Madonna, Grace Jones, Yoko Ono and his own mentor Andy Warhol. Though his images had a childlike quality, the messages behind them were anything but. They were deep and relevant to modern day issues. Touching on subjects as serious as drug abuse and AIDS.
Sadly, Haring died way too young of AIDS related complications at 31. His legacy will forever be immortalized through his art.
Last weekend I went with my husband and Max to see the Keith Haring exhibition at The Brooklyn Museum. The exhibit chronicles Haring’s earlier work in NYC including personal sketchbooks and preserved subway chalk drawings. It was amazing to see in person stuff I had only previously seen in books. Plus it was great to watch Max’s reactions to some of the art. Even when he pointed to one painting and started to shout “I see a penis! I see a penis!” In his defense, he did! Plus I’m pretty sure Keith Haring would have been okay with it. – Jill Topol
Keith Haring: 1978-1982
March 16 through July 8, 2012
Keith Haring 1958-1990 My High School Swatch Watch
Posing with Brooke Shields 1986
“Crack is Wack” 1986 Handball Court Murals on Harlem River Drive and East 128th Street, NYC
Untitled, 1981 Enamel on fiberboard
Down in the Subway
The exact moment Max realized Keith Haring was cooler than Justin Bieber
SOME COOL KEITH HARING ITEMS YOU CAN PURCHASE:
Keith Haring Rocker $260.00 www.openingceremony.us
Keith Haring Bumpkins Superbib 3 Pack $19.95 www.diapers.com
Keith Haring IPad Case $64.00 www.patriciafield.com